Category: Diary

Therapist was six minutes late. Could’ve been worse, he’s ghosted before.

I did a lot of talking. So I guess this is the kind of therapy it is, where I’m revealing things to myself and he’s kind of like a sounding board.

We were talking about the tension between the career I have for money, which itself exists to support the liberal capitalist lifestyle I have set up for myself and my family and the activism work I do for very little money.

And he did say one thing that helped me. “They say you should talk about your goals.”

I reflected on the fact that I don’t love talking about my day, because even when it comes to simply putting a post out there on the Internet on behalf of a good organization, that’s not exciting. I bore myself at the thought of talking about that extensively.

But something I could talk about would be the observation I’ve had – of the past activist organizations I’ve worked with, they’ve been heavily reliant on the corporate web as part of their social media strategies: LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram – all these platforms actively working against the missions of the activist organizations.

We’ve been monitoring this attempt to break away from the centralized, corporate internet and introduce the world to the decentralized, human internet. Wouldn’t it make sense to work toward platforms that specifically are for activists and people who want to use the Internet without providing DAU metrics for evil tech giants?

This….this I’m interested in talking about.

The lump itself is that layer of fat squishing through the hernia hole. I’ve literally got everything plugged up. When I eat poorly enough to trigger something like acid reflux, it gets inflamed and pretty painful.

I could get it operated on now, but the doctor’s like “with your BMI, there’s a higher chance of recursion.” So I guess the hole could open back up again. And could you guess what the doctor at the “Duke Metabolic and Weight Loss Center” thinks I should do?

The Doctor recommends a GLP-1 like Ozempic or Zepbound.

And he’s happy to show me his work. He types in my current weight and target weight and he shows me this custom text file that tells me the percentage success rate with GLP-1’s.

I’m seeing what’s happening and I’m thinking of asking him. I’m thinking of asking him The Question. But I don’t have to, because he tells me. “Yeah, this is just something I whipped up with ChatGPT.”

Now my basic stance on GLP-1’s is…okay, that’s interesting. It really seems like they’ve been prescribed with a lot of more frequency in the past five years. But, I’m 38. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could take the resources that would pay for a lifelong medication and direct them toward lifestyle?

Like, let’s at least try, right? Maybe I can talk to nutritionists. Dieticians. Workout coaches. But my insurance won’t pay for any of that. And the funny part is, given the weirdness with insurance companies and GLP-1’s, there’s no guarantee they’ll pay for this for the rest of my life.

And also, like, I probably don’t need to get to BMI 30. I have a sense the odds of my surgery would go up if I lost something like 15-20 pounds. But this guy framed it as if I needed to lose 40 and fast. Is that because ChatGPT tells him to or did he have a cool conversation with a pharma rep?

Because of a joke I made to a Discord server, I am now compelled to listen to Soundgarden’s “Spoonman,” as well.

I woke up and I really did feel the need to listen to some Jesus Chris Superstar songs, which is eerie, given the timing. When I first started dating Erin, the theater company she worked for was putting on a staging of JCS around Easter time and that’s how I became familiar with the music.

Anyway, Roofman, the movie, was kind of flat to me. Just like….a straightforward look at how this real-life criminal played by Channing Tatum lived kind of a boring existence while creating felonies against the corporation of Toys ‘R Us. And, hey, I’m sure the shareholders of Toys ‘R Us are not sympathetic victims, but the movie in 2026 doesn’t provide the same righteous defense of noble criminality as if he were ripping off Jeff Bezos. Clearly not what the movie cared about, but it’s how my mind works.

Said mind wandered and I started looking at Letterboxd before the movie ended, which “spoiled” the fact that “Roofman” is based on a true story.

They cut out the entire part where the Roofman had to leave the Toys ‘R Us Store and live in an abandoned Circuit City, which I think would have been more of an interesting commentary on our life and times.

I’m watching Drop and it’s a solid thriller – sort of displaced in time, because it uses the sort of broad strokes that I imagine an old school thriller would, but it’s dependent on modern technology.

Do you know I’ve never seen Rear Window? Hell, I’ve never seen Psycho. I have the DVD. I picked it up at a library sale all the way back in Arlington, but I’ve never “made the time.”

Making the time. What a concept.

You ever been frantically leaving messages and calling a dozen cousins to see if they had time to see you over the weekend?

Just me?

My brother and I actually had a good conversation.

The consulate situation started off easily enough, because they granted me an appointment as soon as I walked in. But, somewhat predictably, my lack of readily accessible documentation made any process of obtaining an ID card come to an impasse.